thetimewithu

day out with my cousin

2008-05-28T23:14:00.004+08:00

i haf fun today ..
i went out with my 2 darling cousins..

so nice..
after so long finally i gg out with them ..

ever since i startted prcp and working..

i hardly hang out with them.

if i'm nt wrong, last gathering is during my god ma treat in this yr 2008.

but we wasnt so close at that point of time wor ..

but tdy, we get close again.....
eat, laugh, chat..

we went to this restuarant @
tonkichi@ suntec city ..
it's opposite the kenny roger ..

other branches at isetan and ngee ann city

the food is nice ..
hehe ..
can consider big portion too ..
cox de 3 of us shared our meal
but somehow, in de end,
i didnt managed to finish the food also
but was forced by my cousin to finised

first time in my life, i finish my set meal !

haha haha ..

de food is nice is cox i ate with them ..
the enjoyment of eating ...
the joy and the laughter ..

de food i order was chicken toji .. in a claypot one ..
was lie by the boss( cox i went to ask her, wad do u recommend) so she say try toji( claypot stuff) den so i tot it must be a try food ..

i chose chicken cox i dont really like pork but she emphasis that we're specialised in pork but i tot nth wrong with chicken haha
den who noes..

in de end, somehow i regretted the chicken meat really not nice wor....

cox the sauce is kinda too sweet for me ..

not really as tasty as the mix safood ( sujun's food) and curry pork(tong food) ..

but in de conclusion

i still enjoyed my dinner cox with my cousins..

love them boths ..

now, i shall let the pic talk =)
*ps is at the top of this blog.

ng tube

2008-05-27T22:30:00.003+08:00

hello ..

ng tube insertion.
i bet all nurse haf come thru and been assessed for it ..
..
it may be easy for some ppl to insert .. afterall the person u insert is nt u mah ..

but tdy..
is my induction program
and one of the event is regarding ng tube insertion

i volunteer myself to be the one who kena inserted ..

i know u must be thinking so dumb to volunteer urself ..

but nope
tis is wad tink
to go thru urself den u'll noe how actually the pt feel ..

the pain and de discomfort de pt feel ..

let me share my experience with u ppl k ..

i feel so excited wen i sit there waiting to be inserted..
i can feel that my heart is pounding veri fast.
finally wen my friend is done with the preparation

here come the insertion
initially was fine..
but wen it hit the nostril and go dwn..
i feel that it's really umcomfortable for me ..
but i bear it ..
becox i wanna see how deep can i tolerate the procedure..
yeah
i endure
but wen it start to coil at the back of my throat, i feel that i'm choking and going to stop breathing
so i quickly ask my colleague to pull it out,
wen i saw the tube, it stain with blood..
it's normal becox it can be easily traumatised de ..

so in conclusion,
the feeling of insertion of ng tube was there,
it was really uncomfortable and pain wen it goes in ...
tml now i feel that my nostril is one big, one small..
hahaha
crazy i noe ..
i was thinking size 12 was used on us ..
wad abt those who kena inserted even bigger size..
it must be veri traumatised by it ..

..
now i noe, de feeling of it ..
nxt i feel like trying ivc on myself haha
haha haha

i noe i'm crazy enuff ..
but it's like u must feel it so that u understand how pt feel =X hehe hehe
i must be mad hehe hehe hhehe

natural disaster

2008-05-15T21:16:00.002+08:00

it's been a since i last blog..
been watching the news..

now everywhere is in a mess..
every country has strike with a natural disaster..

everywhere..

i wish i could go and help ..
using my bare hands to save as many ppl as i can ..
however, my skill wasnt good ..
bad in it ..

sometime i just feel stupid stupid

feel so sad for them ... ..

pray hard for all these naturall disaster to go away ..
...

life wasnt easy for them ...

feedback

2008-05-05T22:02:00.002+08:00

i dunno why..
i really dunno wad to do ..

i feel like an useless idiot now ..
totally depressed and shag ..
i feel so hurt wen i tink of the words..
flashing thru my mind .

why i cant be the time wen i'm back to young.
i dun nid to grow up .

yeah

u can say that i'm a useless ass hole ..
a mountain turtle..

i hide myself up wen there is a problem !

but i just dunno wad to do that it ..

i wore a SN uniform but i dun behave like one!

it's an hurting phrase !

yeah ..

mayb tis is my mindset ..

critical area mean u're dying soon!

i just dunno now!

frm now on , i tell myself, i nid to learn as much as i can, to observe as much as i can !
as fast as a cheetah !
to improve on my behaviour!

i just want to be it that way!

i just dunno wad to do ...

i feel like gifing up, but my pride telling me not to becox i dun want to be defeated so easily !
haha
that's what i'm born to be ! my stubborn somehow will kill me one day !

"dis are obstacles preventing me from reaching my dream!"
"i will definitely win in the end!"

the encouraging phrase somehow help me alot. thanks u

depressed >.<

2008-05-05T19:38:00.002+08:00

i dunno why i just feel like blogging tdy ..
i feel that my heart is so weird so weird ..
all the worries suddenly just come out ..
i've been wondering ..
m i able to make it thru this 6 months ?

simply just wondered !

tdy i feel that i was totally lousy ..
really lousy !!!
really lousy !!!!
such an failure ..

i eventually totally blank out in critical area !
blank out as in i dunno wad to do so i just stood there..
arrgh
the preceptor teach me wad to do..
everyday i just faced new thing ..

after everyting ...
she gif me time to tink ..
reflection time ..
how do i perform tdy ?
wad i can say is ..
yesh.. i perform badly !!!!
i admit to her ..
i could haf been better ..
in overall, i nid to buck up on my theory and knowledge..
i couldnt be so stoning !
i must learn to work hard..
arrgh !
i must learn !!!

she said, i can function at p2 but p1 i still alot of practices . ..
i still nid to practices alot !

5 month to go !
hai ..
i just feel that mayb i nt suitable as a nurse =(

2008-05-05T19:31:00.000+08:00

Comment Graphics and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com

this little pic mean alot to me..
it actually show how much i miss euu ..

my present

2008-05-04T18:22:00.000+08:00

the one mention handmade my denise .. i show u

sharingsome pic

2008-05-04T17:43:00.005+08:00

it's pic time ..
some of the pic is taken frm melb( me and baby)
the photo of my frends and my present, given by them. handmade by denise.
the car .. my dream =)
i'll posst more nxt time

i just dun understand why ..

2008-05-04T17:27:00.003+08:00

hello ..
it's been a while i ever last blog ..

come to tink of it..
i've been working as a staff nurse since one month le ..
for tis one month, i can really FEEL the pressure ..
u've to be fast, to do as quick as u can ..
no matter wad .. u just nid to be quick ..
working in ed, was really a no jk tingy ..

till tdy, i still find myself working pace veri slow ..
as in the way i react to situation is veri straightforward..
which mean whenever there is a situation outbreak, i dunno wad to do ..
as in i'm tinking.. wad happen if one day a person SPO2 drop while transferring ?
u never noe right ?
nowaday pt health is so hard to say .. yeah ..
just wonder one day wad will happen if i'm dump to p1 myself !!
really myself..
standby case .. sure guarantee freak out one ..

i rmb that day i was in p1 ..
frm 10 onwards.. my standby case was non stop..
happen to be all the senior are doing one standby each .. and simply just leave me alone ..
and there is another standby coming in ..
my senior wanted to do the standby for me. but my sis( nursing officer) came in and say let kelly do tis standby ...
w/o any hesitate, i prepare all the airway .. whereelse, my sis take all the drugs..
i guess we've to worked and attend all the in services talk b4 we can be qualified as a nurse wor ..

ytd i went to CT scan ..
again i was alone ..
with a doc, porter and myself
initially is my frend go but who noes, my sis ask me to go in de end,
i admitted that tis is a rare opportunity for us as we're so called "newbie".... newly graduated frm poly mah..
so i just go lo ..
thing we prepared by my sis..
so happily.. i went for the CT scan ..

but wen we reached there, my porter dunno how to place all the ting .. nvm nvm
i tot at least the doc can help
but who noes .
lucky worst !
haha haha
stand far far and see me .. ordering me like no body business de wor ..
first time i see !
hehe hehe.
nvm ..
i settled all the ting den i went in to the room ..
out of my curiousity, i looked at the scan
tell me tis " ur focus shld be there" yeah it's truth but i'm monitoring my pt at the same time as i looked at the screen
and i only look for 3 mins ..
so i tell myself .
i also dun understand so better focus on my ting bah..

i just dun understand why ..
doc and nurse are human ..
dey've to gif us a attitude as if dey're much more better than us !
one day if dey dun haf nurse, i see how dey're going to function in tis world..
most of the ting, is done by our nurse ! arrgh !
let it go bah =)

hearing frm denise that, someting happen to fiona..
such a poor ting man ..
hope she's is okie and feel better .... ..

i just hope that the journy of our nurse life will sail smoothly as many year as possible .. =)

30/04/08

2008-04-30T20:35:00.003+08:00

happy bday to myself ..

i'm 20 yrs old tis year ..
but i behave like i'm only 19 year old ..
haha

thanks for those ppl who wished me happy bday ..
all the present u gave me ..

really thanks alot ..
i love the present so much,
thanks for the handmake present =)

thanks alot ..

especially my dear..
although he's not in singapore right now
but he celebrated my bday .. ?
wonder how he make it ?
haha hah a
he eventually bought a cake over there while my parent bought a cake too ..

he decorated the cake and he showed it to me( he sing bday song, blow candle, eat the cake) .
he make it so real as in he's really celebrating for me..
this may sound silly to u all ..
but it's really veri sweet to me .
imagine, a guy do tis to u ..
oh my god.. i'm super touched by wad he did ..
tis silly boy of mine, simply just love him loads.

nothing could describe the happiness i've in my heart. haha ..
but i simply just love it .. =)

hahah ..

really ..

tdy is de day where is happiness and sadness..

although it's my bday but it's my frend and one of sis leaving ..

one moment happy and another is sad ..
but tis is wad we call life ..
tml is a public holiday and i work morning shift yeah =_= jia you le ..
take care to u ..

a special 20 yrs old bday i've ..

thanks mummy and daddy for the treat of eating at swesen ..
after so long .. i ate
thanks my cousin for coming dwn to celebrate for me wahaha ..

thanks
i enjoyed my bday tis yr ...

27/04/08

2008-04-27T11:57:00.000+08:00

27/04/08 ..

it' a special day.. ..

2 special event happen at tis day ..

curious wad is the event ?

den let me tell u ...

look at the photo on top ..

2 different photo right ?

haha

one is with a family and one is me and my dear.

why i put 2 different photo..

is becox ..

tdy is my 8 month annivrsary with my dear..

8 months hehe ..

although he's not in singapore but we noe we live in our heart.

the misses i've for him really is so much that nth can describe how i feel ..

he's been oversea for studies like 2 month ++ le .. .. ..

who say 2 years is fast ... it's only fast wen u dun count ...

april tis month flies super slow lah ..

is slow till i dunno wad to say ...

but i'm contented to haf him in my life.

although, the heated arguement we've, didnt decreasedm could get so serious that sometime i couldnt stop crying ..

yup, it's that bad ...

sometime de words he say, could simply hurt me .. but i noe i hurt him too ...

it take 2 hands to clap.. if i didnt make him angry, he wun not haf hurt me too ..

but nevertheless, all these ad memory i will let it go ..

just like forgive and forget..

i forget all these unhappiness.. all the sadness ..

although, u alway say .. wadever i want to do, is up to me but i really did spared a thought to u ..

right now, i dunno wad to say but

i really miss u alot ..

sometime the misses really kill me ..

all i wanna say is happy 8th month anniversary.. i love u dear.. ..

no matter wad, i wun leave u .. and i'll wait for u to be back soon =)

another photo is becox ..

tdy is my dear's mum bday too ...

happy birthday auntie ... ... ..

may ur wishe come true =) .. .. ..

take care

such an happy event .. hehe

alright i shall blog till here

theory

2008-04-21T19:22:00.000+08:00

i want to shout ..
i cant help it
but i just want to shout out lodu !
i cant stand anymore ..
tdy theory paper .
is just like a piece of shit ..

i guess the chances of me doing a supp one is so high that i'm mentally prepared for it
haha
no choice lah ..
given as my mentallity .
sure do it de

i gif up totally ..
mayb it wasnt my career at all ..
one yr is my testing limit ..
after a year den see ..

let me voice out tdy paper..
was totally brand new to the IVC and IVM ..
no theory was given ..
as in a proper one lah ..
wasnt really introduced to it but end up we haf to take 2 paper at one time ..
hai ..
i really haf nth to say ..

work as usual ..
ytd was given central trollery myself ..
yeah yeah
was asked to cover iso for the nurse to bREAK ..
end up , i de-isolate pt to my central
haha
but iso was fun lah ..
i manage to work there once cox my sister was assigned to it ..
first time workin there, i almost freak out ..
we do standby case at isolation ..
first time of my life i heard tis ..
arrgh
why ..
all the patient come to iso is so ill
beside there, dey all come in to
nt becox of puenmonia
but some others like fever

hehe ..
afterall, i want to say
i nid improvement to be better one

jia you .. ..

hope i wun die soon
hahahah

busy day

2008-04-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

this 2 days i was so busy ..
oh my god ..
monday case keep coming in ..
till we cant breathe at all ..
although i was assisgn with 3 trollery but but but
i was so busy lah
cox i got all the a and b ..
some more, other doc will call me to do for them
but i find it ive to manage them as well ..
take it and learn slowly ..

tdy i was assigned total 6 trolley ..
i was busy ..
i help in p1 all thes .. but it wasnt as bad as mon ..
overal , i rate tdy okie ..
but in the end with so many med, i almost freak out haha ..
but i find it nice lah
my senior gudie me thru
thanks alot for them ..

tml finally is my rest day ..
tired tired

chest tube dislodge

2008-04-15T19:30:00.000+08:00

it wasnt my day in sun ..
wondering why it wasnt my day ..
becox i had a bad experience ..
3 yrs in my life,
i wrote my first EHOR( incident report),
argh ..
however, looking at the bright side of the matter,
i get to learn how to write a EHOR .
i tell u .. it's so damn hard lah !
u noe why/
u nid to noe all the name and ppl who is involved in the incident,
den u nid to write all the ting..
frm the top to toe ..
why pt come in, wad management haf been done, what happen all these .. ..
alot alot lah ..
lucky i've one preceptor to write for me and as well as my sister helped me too ...

this is how the story goes..

he've a chest tube inserted at the there,
enroute to ward, he was moving ard..
suddenly i feel so weird and uneasy ..
somehow i suspect sth is going to happen
and as well as i forget to bring..
i asked, wad are u doing ? pls dun move alot or pull anyting
becox he's awake frm the dream , he started to pull everyting ..
that's why i advice him nt to move ard..

wen up to the ward,
b4 transferring to the bed,
dey notice the chest tube is out ..
i was shocked..
surprised..
as well as i dunno wad to do ..
i cant say i'm new or wad ..
cox it's my fault ..
my mind was blank ..
all i tink was to save pt ..
but the staff say u're to take responsiibility all these..
i told her , yup i'll take everyting ..
dun worry .
so i made a courtesy call to my emd ..
to inform that abt the situation and i cant gg back becox of these ..
i apologieed to them ..
somehow the mo was question me, the staff i cant caused a pt death .. yeah i admitted ..

so the reg came and reinserted the tube again .. i was so terrified ..
i dunno wad to do ..
they insisted me to stay and they nid my help .. so i called them again ..
in de end, my sister came up and "save" me ..
my face was totally red even my ears ..
cox i dunno wad to do ..
my first time ..
i was terrified too ..
frm then on , i learnt a lesson .. i;ve a new experience ..

my task was to read up and hand in a management to my sister ..

yup that's all ..

orientation

2008-04-08T20:29:00.000+08:00

tdy is my second day orientation
we learn all about the nuh ..
first day was fine .. halfway thru
i 've this terrible headache ,
that i nearly fainted ..
cannot say fainted lah ..
it 's only so painful that i feel like throwing up lo ..
despite eating panadol, the pain still wont go ..
so i decided to gif my baby a msg, even though i dun want him to worry
but i dunno why in de end, i still sms him ..
mayb i miss him so much hehe * thick skinned*
after that, i managed to join all the activities..
amazing race was fun ..

first time, i try to use the fire extinguisher
haha
the feeling was like ..
yeah .. i did it .
i noe how to pull out a fire haha
fun fun fun ...

otherwise, i;ve nth to blog about orientation haha ..

cox lecuture i either zzz , talk or stare or listen to it ..
if not i will sms my baby hehe
but i noe he've sch so i didnt really sms him much

orientation last for 4 days ..
after that i'm working haha ...

the end ..

intubation

2008-04-08T20:01:00.000+08:00

i did my first assisting intubation for the first time ..
i tell u
the feeling is super scary lah !
u can really feel the ETT going down.
as if the tube has just pass by the throat to the larnyx(dunno how to spell).
until tdy, i still can rmb how it feel !
it like wow ..
i feel it lah ..

that day the second time i don up my staff nurse uniform, i was put into the most critical area where most patient are most unstable, and dangerously ill ..
those DIL, DNR, MCM patient
or patient condition change to the worst ..
like unconscious pt de ..

then it came a STANDBY ..
so it was unreponsive,
so need to be intubate as the GCS( conscious level) of the patient drop..
so b4 that i ask my SSN,
can i be the airway nurse, i told her i never did b4 neither do i try b4 ..
she agreed ,..
i was like yeah ..

in the end, i regret to be one
u noe why ..
becox i forget all my thing
all i can rmb was to pass this and that to the doc and i was like blur blur de
imagine tis ..
ure working with all the seniors!
two consultant, one medical officer, one senior staff nurse, and me ..
i was like oh my god ..
stress stress lah !
like wad i say i also forget ..

now i noe ..
when doc is hypervent the pt,
we must apply crioiod( dunno how to spell) pressure,
prepare suction if needed,
pass the larygnscope to the doc, once she see the airway ,
pass the ETT (B4 hand, already lubricate and test with the a syringe for the balloon).
once the ETT goes in,
immediate cuff it,
and doc say let go crioiod pressure
and see the marking
and paste it.
one of the senior doc,
tell me tis
wen u paste the ETT,
do not push in the ETT, instead ,
slightly pull out, so that the ETT wun go in too deep
becox when the ETT goes in too deep, it will go to the trachea den bronchus.. den it'll only inflat one of the lungs so end up pt will collaspe too !

my first time off ETT was kinda of failed ..
haha
but my senior staff nurse say tis to me,
kelly, u're quite organised,
keep it up, u nid more try ..
i was like really , okie i'll do better ..
haha
the senior doc say tis .. i tink u all nurse must haf 8 pair of arms in order to work ..
i tink it was quite true lo ..
one hand pressing crioid pressure, cannot let go den u to use the other hard to pass all the stuff ..
wah piang ehh ..
haha
but i've fun ..

another STANDBY came in,
it was a collapsed case,
so my senior SN say tis to me,
kelly u be the airnurse again ..
try again ..
tis time i was alright but i was a lilttle bit blur lah ..
cox the ting was prepared by her but i still manage to learn

in conclusion,
i must say tis,
ASSISSTING in intubation wasnt like the book stated!
it wasnt as easy as u tink
i can say tis to u !
really
it wasnt easy
in sch, we did it as if like no body business..
but in real life, u;ve to be fast
cox brain cell will die in 4 mins time if the patient do not received any oxygen..
and we can only do it in 3 times ..
if fail,
we've to keep hyperventilate the pt ..

i want to say
if u're given a chance to do it, go ahead and try ..
it fun ..
u'll find it amazing
haha ..

overall, i find it fun hehe .. i must be mad ..
i enjoyed working on that day
i was stress but i still find it fun ..
so i must keep going...

fear to put on

2008-04-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

finally i got my staff nurse uniform..
however, i dun even feel like wearing it at all ..
the mood wasnt right at all ..
totally different!
i'm afraid of wearing the uniform..

is nt that i worry that the stress will be on me
but i feel so frightened!
i feel that i'm totally nt prepared to be one !

i feel like i'm a loser
a big sore loser ..
u noe !
everyone tell me that dey're afraid, i'm able to talk to them
but it come to me, *FAINTED*
i cant make it ..
i dunno why why why

i tried to escape frm it !
i tell all my sister nxt week nxt week
7 april 08 den can wear
but dey ask me abt the uniform
i was like telling them tml den can take lo ..
but now i got it !
wad m i suppose to do ?

can someone shake me up?
like wake me up frm the fear?
i noe ..
others can do it , why cant i ?
it's that i'm lacking of confident ..
i dunno wad to say ..
pl are so excited to wear uniform but me chose to remain the same ..
i noe i'm a coward ..
i admitted it ..
just gif me sometime,
i'll learn how to do it ..
i tried my best to overcome my fear
cox i guess tml i'll be wearing the uniform!
i reluctuant to do so !

i'm signing off to tink abt it ..
hai ..
i've to overcome my fear ..
that day haf really arrived and come ..
do it or leave it .. !

back to reality

2008-04-01T19:23:00.000+08:00

010408
april fool day
but in this blog ,
the words i wrote, it come frm the bottom of my hrt..
i'm NOT fooling u !

two days had passed.
i feel that i'm back to the reality
where i've to face the cruelty of this world once again.
..
no longer is the world of me and u ..

noisy life is back to my life..
where i've to listen to everyone shouting, screaming, everywhere i go..
nightmare had engulfed back into my dream!

10 days in melb, i feel that i'm living in the wonderland,
i'm just like a cinderalla..
where i found my prince over there..
i've lots of fun ( although the shop close early)..
i realised my love for u has grown even more ..
mayb like wad u say to me, i cant live w/o u too ..
just like one of the song .. ..

the time with u
passed so fast,
it's so fast that,
sometime how i wish the time will just stopped .
i can paused the time!
so that everyone will be freeze! ..
haha haha haha

i like the time where u and me
in the appt
it just like our little home.
u cook the spageti ( dunno how to spell)
and i help u to wash and dry plate ( end up, u're doing urself cox i caused even more troubled for u)..
u scolded me for messing up the hse, and i realised that my yang yang is so man ! hehe

i like the moment where u and me ,
holding hand walking back to the appt in the middle of the night,
in my hrt, i feel so sweet and loving.
i feel so joyful..
feel that i'm like a little woman who is being protected.
no longer fighting alone in the EMD ( which sometime, i feel so tired of putting up a brave front or fake smile to them ).

the moment where u and me
sitting in the tram.
wen i feel tired, u'll alway offered me to lie on ur shoulder , asking me to take a rest.
so nice and warmed..
although the journey was far but i dun mind, becox i was with u =)

10 days in melb,
i'm so happy to be with u..
the happy moment and feeling iare the things i dunno how to tell/show it to u ..
the only way i can prove it
to u
is to hug and kiss u non stop.
to me, this is the best way i could prove to u ..
the bits and piece of joy i haf.

during the departure,
i feel extremely sad.
how i wish
how i wish
i can dun come back to sg..
i tell myself nt to cry in front of u
becox if i were to cry, i'll make u feel even worse and sad..
i must be brave ..
the moment i sat in the plane, tears just dropped..
i couldnt stopped ..
it took me abt 15 mins to dry the tears in my eyes..
the moment i heard u're crying, my tears rolled dwn of my eyes.
i feel so regretful..

nevertheless,
i'm once again back to tis reality =(

baby,
i miss u so badly
spiritually, my soul is still with u

bit and pieces of memories i've shared with u
couldnt stopped flashing thru my mind..

no matter wad, u must study hard, i'll wait for u to come back ..
i hope one day, the promises u gave me will come true.
the dream of my japan will become real..

thanks for the 10 days ,
the happiest moment i've =)
the time i spent with u ..
no words could actually replace the happiness i';ve in my heart =)

baby, i love u.. no one love u as much as i do. tis is the phrase u used to tell me,
BUT now i'm telling u ..

i'll be looking forward to the time u come back to singapore =)

regards
ur darlin'
kelly toh shi yun

p.s sorry for my poor english. i tried my best to write it in a better way =P hehe

hello welcome to my new blog

2008-03-31T13:15:00.001+08:00

testing testing one two three..
tis is my new blog again